String and Scissor

What is this life but one intricate, seemingly endless obstacle course leading us to the possibility of happiness. What is this life but one disappointment after the other, accompanied with the occasional hoorah that erases all the nightmares we call memories. What is this life but a diamond hidden in a heap of trash that the beggar digs and digs through. What is this life but one unfair commodity taken for granted until its stripped from our very core. What is this life but a string and scissor held in the hands of God. What is this life but a curse.. That turns out to be a gift to those who are patient. What is this life but the most beautiful thing that has ever happened to mankind, yet it is taken so lightly. 

Perfectly Imperfect

My best friend is beautiful in every sense of the word. She is wonderfully daring and chaotically whimsical and leaves you guessing at every turn. She is desirable, yet hard to handle, and I'm pretty sure every girl wishes she were her. She has no filter, speaks her mind, and is not afraid of others opinions. She'll never step down from a fight, which makes us a dangerous pairing, considering I am wonderfully stubborn as well. Together, we are unstoppable. We will conquer the world one challenge at a time, and no one can stop us. We are invincible. We are unbeatable, and we are infinite. I know I can handle whatever life throws at me with a brave face, because I can turn to her and bawl when everything is going wrong. Life would be unbearable without her smiling face, and honestly I do not know where I'd be without her constantly keeping me in line. I'd probably be lost in some abandoned forest, or at the bottom of the ocean or something. Wherever I would end up, it certainly would not be the wonderful place I am in now. She has helped me become the person I think I am meant to be, and for that, I am eternally grateful.

The state of nothingness

I'm being pulled in a million different directions at once and I'm thoroughly convinced that with one more tug, I'll snap. It's amazing how suddenly it can seem that the world is against you, and it's even more amazing how fast your army can dwindle down to one lone soldier. I keep reminding myself that I can make it through but sometimes i feel as if the power I possess is nonexistent and my worth just spirals down into nothingness because I'm incapable of getting things done. I know I put all this stress on myself, but you know who's going to be left with the failures that take over my life? Me. 

Intertwined

I kiss you and I'm brought back to a childhood filled to the brim with swings going higher and higher and higher, just like your potential. When i kiss you, i kiss a person whose swing was cut at the tippy top and whose mother was not there with kisses and a bandaid when you fell. When I kiss you, I'm entangled in your the fears that haunt you late at night and the monsters that reside in your head, attacking every ounce of confidence you ever owned. When I kiss you, I am enveloped in the wrenching heartbreak of the loss of love, and the need for acceptance. When I kiss you, I gain insight into the person who is painfully misunderstood, marked as a troublemaker, and ostracized for his past. When I kiss you, I kiss all the smoke inhaled into your lungs, the alcohol your liver can take no longer, and the deepest darkest thoughts hidden in your mind. When I kiss you i understand you for who you really are, and I could not be more addicted.

I pity you

People ask why I swim. Why do you spend so much time swimming in the same pool, in the same lane, hopelessly swimming back and forth? How do you exert yourself past pure exhaustion, just to go one one hundredth of a second faster? How do you wake up at 4 every morning, and don't you ever get sick of it? What if i told you i have no clue? But what if I also told you I pity the people who don't swim. They'll never know the feeling of water engulfing their body as it slides past and hugs every curve present. They'll never have the feeling of empowerment as their hand pushes the mountain of water past them, thrusting them forward and toward their ending goal. They'll never experience the moment of exhilaration as they thrust their fingers to the wall with every ounce of their being. They'll never remember the moment of pure bliss as they whirl their head around to see a number one next to their lane. They will also never gain the comradery, character, athleticism, and life lessons only gained from a life full of swimming. I swim because I don't know how to stop. It is the one thing I feel completely comfortable having an uncurable addiction to, and I wouldn't have it any other way. So if you don't swim, please don't pity me, but instead envy the love and dedication I have to something I truly care about. 

Slipping into oblivion

How do right and wrong get so thoroughly confused in my teenage brain? How do the morals I've been taught all along suddenly slip away when I think of you? You're everything I wish I could be, yet everything I'm afraid of. Differentiating between lust and love for you is impossible, but I am intrigued, infatuated, drawn in by your presence. You are morphine, and I am your biggest addict. No amount of time in rehab can erase the impact you've had on me. And you know the saddest part about the whole ordeal? While you had such an influence on my life, I'm pretty sure I played a pretty forgettable part in yours. I just wish sometimes I was fascinating and interesting and sometimes I wish I was someone's drug. And sometimes, just sometimes I go back to that night and I know it's dangerous and I should regret it, but I don't and I regret not regretting it. But how is one to regret something that felt so right?